Sometimes I entertain myself with the thought if it wasn’t such a damn sin punishable by life in prison would I have the balls to kill Joey for being the piece of shit that he is? No one would really miss the overgrown, dirty, selfish oaf. Even his mom thinks he is a drag. The only social subculture that would miss him is the dope dealers. The junk pusher over in the South Bronx probably wouldn’t be able to afford Christmas presents for his kid without Joey’s help. That would be sad indeed especially since the kid works for his dad full time without knowing it, carrying dope hidden in little toys in case senior gets busted. He deserves a lot for Christmas…like a new father who doesn’t use him as a drug mule.
I kid though. I may be a bit wicked (especially to myself) but I’m no murderer. I’m just itching to do something that would hurt him bad but he’s so thick skinned...like one of those prehistoric looking giant lizards from Australia. Maybe I’ll kill him with kindness, isn’t that what nice God fearing folk would say? Who the hell thought of the phrase “kill them with kindness” anyway? Obviously that idiot has been getting killed with kindness his entire life because if someone shit all over him even once he wouldn’t be saying that.
I would probably have reached some sort of divine forgiveness people preach is necessary to move on if I wasn’t still legally living with Joey seeing how I’m a broke orphan. It’s all fine and great to preach forgiving your enemies but when they’re still eating your food and leaving their dirty socks in inappropriate places it’s pretty much impossible. It’s a good thing that I can avoid seeing Joey in the flesh by going to Adrian’s but it’s a bad thing that Adrian has a roommate who has never done anything bad to me but I can’t help vehemently disliking. Maybe it’s subconscious and it’s because he prevents me from being able to scatter tubes of lip gloss and hair products wherever I please, I really don’t know.
I understand that the theory of gravity can be applied to life, what goes up must come down and all that. But for once I would like the universe to bend the rules a little and make something go my way without a single glitch or drawback. If you can only make that happen dear universe I would gladly tolerate your bitchiness for the rest of my life with a smile.